welcome to my delusions!

 Hello Dreamwidth, I actually forgot you existed for more than a year. 

On the bright side, posting now feels like I skipped over the nightmarish and apocalyptic year that was 2020. I mean, if I could have skipped it I would have, but that's impossible, and it does not do to dwell on impossibilities that will only serve to depress and not spread joy. Seriously though, what the hell was with 2020. If it wasn't one bad thing it was another. The only difference was it was the whole world living through a global dumpsterfire.

I have been reading so, so, so much new stuff it's unbelievable. At the moment I am desperately waiting for my favourite current novels/manhua/manhwa to be translated, especially Trash of the Count's Family, Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint, Solo Leveling, The S-Classes That I Raised, I Have Medicine, and a few more.

Hopefully when I come back here in the future, these will be translated and I can look back at my past self and laugh. But probably not. I just pray nothing bad happens and they get dropped.

My bag is now covered in badges. Tony's been buying me ones that he says suits me, and I ended up gluing them to my backpack/handbag. All my MDZS ones are front and center, and then the rest of the space is full of weird badges that I actually kind of like. Maybe one day I'll take a picture and add it here. Since I never leave the house (except for doctor/hospital appointments) the badges are in very good condition.

I also have quite a few bunny themed badges and stuff. Tony said to me that until I started buying the MDZS stuff he didn't realise how much I adored bunnies. He knew I loved cats, birds, and deer, but he was surprised to discover I also loved bunnies, and hamsters. Especially bunnies. He bought me a two foot raccoon plushie and gave it to me, because he couldn't find any bunnies in the shop, and that is so damn adorable it stays next to my bedside table, beside the WWX and LWJ bunnies.

Some good things that happened:

♥ NOX emulator is surprising good. I find it so much easier to play Love Nikki. 

♥ PillTime is a lifesaver. I don't have to keep remembering to order my medication and get it delivered.

♥ Flamish's NovelGrabber has made life reading novels so much easier. I can download them, add them to Calibre, and then read them with my reading settings. 

♥ I found some really, really nice instrumental Jazz music on YouTube that lasts between 4-8 hours so I can have some lovely background music while I get stuff done.

♥ I've started playing My Time At Portia. It's fun. Or at least it is fun now with a few mods for easier playtime.

♥ Tony and I have been having date nights with tabletop games, Netflix, and making more of an effort to just spend time together without the computers.

♥ Tony and I have been together for more than twenty years now. It's amazing just thinking about it. We've been together since 1999. 

That's all for now. I never intended to actually post anything, but my previous entry was just too depressing to see as a first entry.

To any strangers, and old friends reading this - hello, I hope you have a nice day, or lovely evening, and I wish you well. Also, have a hug.

~ Jaz

♥♥♥

2012, you've actually been a pretty good year for me. Granted we've had some pretty crappy moments, and we've had less money and been living hand-to-mouth and can only afford to have hot water for an hour or two every other day, but hey, I've lost weight because the internet is the second highest priority, second to the electric meter and so food was shoved down to the bottom of the list (an 11kg bag of rice for £10 goes a hell of a long way). --snicker--

Even though my accident has left me with permanent nerve damage in two of my fingers I still managed to complete NaNoWriMo, and I overcame my agoraphobia and most of my social anxiety, and I'm no longer housebound.

We're lucky in that my other half has often teased me about being a 50's housewife (dammit, I'm 32, not 60+) because I cook and clean and sew and make most of our accessories, (even the little stuff like bed-warmers, hand-warmers and things that cost under £1), and I recycle/upcycle just about everything, but in the end I am a good cook, and I don't have a sewing machine because we can't afford one, but I'm dammed handy with a needle and thread, and I don't watch TV, so in the quiet moments when everything else is done I pull out projects and finish them.

I've given up smoking, mostly because I realised around May that we couldn't afford for me to smoke, even though I was only smoking four (approximately) per day, so I reached the end of the pack I had and then simply didn't buy another pack and I haven't touched a cigarette since. I don't drink anyway, so that wasn't an issue...actually, the internet is my only vice. Huh. Oh, I also haven't got a sweet tooth, and so a box of tea is much more appreciated than chocolate. --laughs--

My other half joked before Christmas that I was nightmare to buy a gift for because I download everything I want to watch (because I mostly watch anime) and I download my books from free places, and I read fanfiction, so books are out unless they're poetry books, and I'm not a fan of dining out, or sparkly stuff, or perfumes (I only really like Anna Sui's 'Love', which I tend to buy at a wholesale price once a year from eBay for a fraction of the cost in the shops), or chocolates, etc... Poor dear. He ended up buying me manga.

My relationship with Tony has suffered and then improved thanks to the rollercoaster that this year has been, and I think we're both better for it. We've been together for thirteen years now, ever since I was seventeen, and so pretty soon more than half my life will have been spent with him. It's hard to imagine a life without him, and I know he's been worried about what will happen now that I'm no longer housebound. He's excited for me, but he's worried about my safety too.

Overall, 2012 was better than the year before, and I have great hopes for 2013.

Hugs,

Jasmine Holmes

xXxXx